Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Where do all the stupid people go?

Garage Band class. 2nd block. Enough said. This class is the academic version of the 'Tard Cart

So basically what it's all about is a small barren room filled with $5000 computer setups with a curriculum catered to idiots. And yes im taking it. I need fine arts credits, and i refuse to be the only man in a room full of ceramic -molding, paint-sniffing, jewlery-making asshats.

There are 3 types of people in this class:

1) Black people who think they can rap but they cant. They are taking this class to advance their rap careers but just plain suck at life

2) White people who think they can rap but they cant. Straight from the trailer park! Seriously, one kid looks like his face has been melted in some industrial chemo-nuclear-mechanical accident. Probably from all the inbreeding.

3) Me.

Back to the $5000 computer setups. We get MIDI keyboards, which is odd considering many of these rappers-in-training have never seen a keyboard or know what a musical note is. So one day I get our 5 day project done in 20 minutes, take off my headphones, hear some thunderous noise, and immediately hit the floor, thinking one of those Minnesota earthquakes. But HOLY SHIT thats not thunder its the sound of 23 retards randomly hitting keys on their keyboards, many sporting a sexy grin.

So the point in trying to make is, get your damn fine arts credits done early. Dont be the only senior stuck in a sea of sophomore inbreds.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Kimbo Slice vs Mr. T

Time for another Phatality Phight, this round featuring two straight up badasses. In the black corner standing at 6 foot 2 and 250 pounds is Kimbo Slice, and in the other black corner standing at probably around the same and weighing around the same would be Mr. T.

Kimbo Slice (born: some less badass name) became famous by kicking the crap out of anyone who wanted to get the crap beaten out of them by Kimbo Slice. He was born in the Bahamas, then soon moved to the US and attended Bel-Air Elementary school. Really, he did. So after fighting on the streets, literally, for awhile Kimbo went pro. After defeating Ray Mercer (possibly related to Lee L. Mercer Jr?) he won a few more fights with his signature move, the one-punch knockout, then lost on purpose and took a break. Allegations of being a half dragon and/or half two eyed cyclops are pending against him.

Mr. T pities the fool who fights against Mr. T.
Mr. T was born in Chicago, home of Da Bears and God coach Mike Ditka, da coach. Mr. T is the only A-Team member who didn't need a gun, because he can destroy people with his mohawk alone. Mr. T pities the fool who is on Team Kimbo instead of the A-Team because the A-Team is indestructible. Fact: Mr. T. got his mohawk from reading National Geographic and has a photographic memory. When Mr. T learned that his chains cost about the same as a country in Africa, he said to himself "No, T, you can never wear your gold again. It's an insult to God" and donated them to charity.
Mr. T is the co-author of "T and Crumpets" and pities the fool who doesn't read his book.

Think you could take on these guys? I think not.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Some Select Quotes of My Own

After seeing some splendid quotes that may or may not be relevant to any situation at hand whatsoever, I decided to post some of my favorite quotations, both humorous and inspiring.

"Do or do not, there is no try." ~~~ Unknown

"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take" ~~~ Unknown (I find this quotation particularly motivating).

"In mathematical English, applying the conditional operator to P and Q produces a sentence that may be written, "If P, then Q", or "P implies Q". (Fine point.) Sentences of this form are conditional assertions. Conditional assertions are at the very heart of mathematical reasoning. Mathematical proofs typically consist of chains of conditional assertions.
A conditional assertion "If P then Q" has the precise truth table shown here. The meaning of "If P then Q" is determined entirely by the truth values of P and Q and this truth table. The meaning is not determined by the usual English meanings of the words "if" and "then".
The truth table can be summed up by saying: A conditional is true unless the hypothesis is true and the conclusion is false. That means that to prove "If P then Q" is FALSE you must show that P is TRUE(!) and Q is FALSE." ~~~ Charles Wells, Professor Emeritus of Mathematics at Case Western Reserve University

"My Mama always said, 'Life was like a box of chocolates; you never know what you're gonna get.'" ~~~ Kurt Cobain

Thank you for taking the time out of this wonderful day to read my humble post. Have a great life!